Welcome to my domain...if you dare...

Welcome to my blog about life as a writer and the craziness it involves with struggles of daily life. Make yourself at home but only if you don't mind a little messiness from time to time. This isn't the Home and Garden blog or Martha Stewart so don't expect cute little crafts with homemade goodies. That's not happening in the world of vamps, weres, and other things that go bump in the night...well...maybe homemade blood cakes topped with 'scream a la cream' sweetness along with the sexy alpha males who serve it up.

Friday, September 17, 2010

OH NO...The "M" Word.

Today, I reflect on a subject which I believe so many have different views on; some good, some bad but regardless, most American adults have participated in or 'dipped' their feet into it at some point...and it is...marriage.

Oh my!  Did I just say the scary and ugly, 'm' word?  I did, didn't I?  Well, the nerve of me but that's me so deal with it or move onto another blog...I'm jesting. Seriously though, a lot of individuals have misgivings when it comes to marriage.  Today, our society seems to view marriage as something that a couple 'tries' out and see how it 'fits' with their plans and if it doesn't they end it.  It's sad really but I believe that it goes hand in hand with how our society has become more self absorbed and self-centered; along with the mentality of 'quick gratification'.  We're spoiled and we want what we want when we want it...ugh!  You see, we've lost touch on how to truly nurture relationships of quality; meaning loving and trusting marriages.

Marriage is not the 'fairy tale happily-ever-after without any problems and all is hunky-dory 24/7' event.  It's continually changing because people change over time and that means hard work and being consistent and committed to the relationship. 

I know this first hand because I married young in my first marriage and unfortunately we didn't know how to 'deal' and grow together.  Although the marriage ended on 'good' terms, sadly it still ended.  I hope to believe that I know more now; therefore, not make the same mistakes in my current marriage.  Today, marks 12 years which my husband and I have been married and we've known each other for 27 years...YIKES!!  I know, a long time.  Yet, even with the amount of time I've known my husband, we still work on keeping the lines of communication open and being honest with one another.  We've had several ups and downs and 'I want to bury him in the backyard moments' but through it all GOD has helped us along the way to mature and truly deal with each other's habits, moods, attitudes, and personalities.  We're polar opposites and that's what attracted us to one another but we've learned along the way that sometimes those same qualities can either tear a couple apart or bring them closer together.  We've chose to confront our fears, deal with reality, and trust in GOD in helping us to relate to one another.  It's not always easy but it's definitely been an interesting ride.
My man and I:  Even our shadows are united.

I don't mean to be on a soap box but I want people to really think about marriage as a serious matter and not something to try on like a prom dress or tux for a special night.  If your marriage isn't perfect, don't expect it to be...there aren't any perfect marriages.  But stay committed and consistent on working on and improving the relationship; GOD will bless your efforts.  My marriage is proof of that and I am eternally grateful. AMEN.

My marriage also gives great inspiration for my writing.  I won't share everything but let's just say the love scenes in my manuscripts aren't lacking...heehee.


JD :)

1 comment:

  1. Happy Anniversary! We just celebrated 14 yrs. as you know and it's been quite the ride. But I wouldn't change one thing because it's brought me to this wonderful point in my life. You're right - it's a constant give and take, and it's not always champagne and roses. But when you make that commitment, it is a commitment not to give up on each other. I know in my heart that if one day it all comes to an end, I have tried my damndest to make things work and I'll have no regrets.